Ok,
this is the first thing I am writing about in 2017. This is definitely not the
first thing I wanted to write about this year but here I am writing about this!
But the internet has been talking of nothing else for the past 48 hours or more.
The trigger, of course, was the 2 incidents in Bangalore. One where there was
mass molestation in CBD and the other where a woman was molested close to her
house and was captured in CCTV.
There
has been a lot of talk post these incidents. Women calling out challenges that
they face and how they have been molested/groped/raped by men. Men defending
themselves by saying that only a few are black sheep while the vast majority
are not molesting/raping/groping women. They, in fact, went ahead and created a
hashtag #NotAllMen to just prove their point. Thankfully, many men were sane
enough to call out the immaturity of the hashtag. They failed to understand
that what the women were talking about
was not about men. But what they have been going through every single day.
To
counter the #NotAllMen, women started their own hashtag #YesAllWomen to talk
about how all women have been molested/groped/raped at least once in their
life. It killed me to read their experiences. So. Many. Of. Them. After having
read those experiences all that I wanted to do was to sit in a corner and cry.
Nothing else.
There
were notes from 2016, 2006, 1996 and backwards as well. This is not a new
phenomenon. This is how it has been all the time. This is how it will be for
the foreseeable future as well. Instead of being defensive and saying I don’t
do this. Why not stand up with the women and acknowledge the challenges that
they go through, day in and day out? Why not stand by and support them
unconditionally? Why not take the lead and bring the guilty ones to justice?
Why
not take the lead and bring about a change? Why not take the fight to the
street? Why not educate the kids so that the future is secure for the women?
But no, we can’t do any of this! Because we are busy defending ourselves!
Defending ourselves that we are not like a few! Well, guess what? It is not
just a few people! It is a whole lot of us!
Most
times, it is men that are familiar to the women like the fathers, uncles,
in-laws, cousins! All the so called decent people! People who are educated!
People who are family! Worst are the family members who don’t want to rake up
the issue! How can they just ignore such acts when the victim comes and shares it
with them! Where the fuck is the support?! How can we expect things to change
if we don’t stand by the victim and confront the predator? Is the family
tradition/respect/or whatever fuck it is called more important than the victim’s
pain? Is that more important than the victim’s peace of mind? Is that more
important than saving the several other victims?
If
this is our culture, then we are better off without this fucking culture! If
these are our traditions, we are better off without our fucking traditions! If
this is how we should live, we are better off not living at all!
